I hate when I get drunk and start speaking with an accent thats not mine

So after a highly intoxicating first night in Montreal we woke up some what early for what we did the night before. All the asians in our room left :( so were all alone at the moment. Funny side note the city shut off the water at our place, and I found that out a little too late, good thing the asians left. We gear up and venture over to St. Denis Rue where we spent a little bit last night. We walk around checking out all the shops, which all seem to have this hippie/eastern vibe going on. We eat at this indian restaurant for lunch, it was ok but Dale's is better. After realizing my sanuk's are completely soaked, like my socks are wet, we head back to the hostel. After re-grouping we head over to St. Rue. What do you know there are sex shops every where, this should be fun. After getting our fill of dildos, flesh lights, sabian machines, celebrity genitals, and more porn than a 13 boy watches in a day we move on. One amazing thing about Montreal is there are so many places to eat, each street has about 10 really amazing places to eat of varying styles and flavors. On our way back we stumbled into a head shop and met Sebastian. Sebastian is one cool dude and he kind of looks like jesus. He gives us the low down on the cannabis scene in Quebec and answers all our burning questions about burning. Pretty much in Montreal unless you blow smoke in a officers face they could care less what you smoke, we can attest to this seeing we've walked down the street and seen people just blazing as they go about their business. Sebastian tells us that the cold stresses out people out so they are lax about smoking. Turns out that Sebastian will be in Jamaica the same time we will be for spring break so hopefully we can get up with him. Upon our friendly exchange with Sebastian we get some beer and kick it at the hostel for a while. Following some beers we go out to get some mexican food (of course!). We had seen this place on St. Denis called "3 Amigos" that was always crowded so we figure we'd give it a shot. Canadians do mexican food pretty well, the food was good and fairly affordable. We land back at our hostel and start drinking with all the people we met last night, of what I can remember. We have a group of about 15 of us kicking it in the lobby, before we all decide lets start new years a little early and go to this bar and rage. We had to explain to them what "rage" or "to rage" meant, it was pretty funny to hear their reactions and by the end of the night they were using it too. We all head over to a bar called "Yer Mad" and continue to 'rage'. One of our new friends Tim is an Australian (there seems to be a lot of them around) who has not been home in 8 months. He loads us up on all his crazy travels which have literally been all over the world. He does some writing for lonely planet and tells us he should be in Austin, TX but he flipped a coin and it landed on him being here, pretty interesting philosophy if you ask me, i hope to be like him one day. After several, several, several pitchers of beer later most of them thanks to our philly friend Lawrence. I am on my way out when I make my way over to a table where one of our Australian friends is sitting talking to two montreal girls. Well I was going over to say good night but some how that led me to taking tequila shots with these girls. And for some reason they only had lemons to bit so thats what we did, salt+lemons=not the best combination. These girls live about 40 minutes and tell me they get drunk and then wait around till one of them sobers up to drive home. They also tell me that most the french spoken in montreal is a fucked up combination of french and english and most the time they don't understand it. Several rough tequila shots later they offer to walk me back to i don't get attacked by the out of control crack head population in montreal, such nice girls. We bid adieu and i crash hard. Tomorrow is the big show! Get ready montreal loose tingles is coming at you!

What does the inside of a polar bear's ass feel like?

After our way too long of a stay in York, PA, $800 and a new alternator later, we left around 5. Oh did I mention that when they put in a new battery that Audi's have this great security feature that locks it the radio rendering it useless, yeah. So we started driving, in silence, on our way to Kelly's place in Mechanicville, NY because there was no way we were going to make it to Vermont, so we'll hit that on the way back. 5 hours later of driving through blizzard like conditions we make it to Mechanicville. A small town but never the less it gets us off the road and with good people. We spend the rest of the night enjoying the fine taste of LTD and trading stories. We wake up remotely early, enjoy a fine breakfast, and head north naturally. 3 hours laster we find ourselves eating balloons full of heroin over the boarder. We finally arrive in montreal, and let me tell you this is the coldest place I have ever been in my life, and I know what your thinking "duh its december in Canada" and to you I say shut the fuck up i know. It's really not the temperature that's the problem it's the wind that will whip up and shatter your frozen testicles. So we enjoy some Thai food (naturally) and start wondering around the city. Lesson 1 we learned was always go out with a plan of attack it's too cold just to go out wondering. Our hostel is nice, good location, and clean. Despite us manifesting the hottest porno scene ever once we enter our room it's filled with a bunch of asians. Come night, we start wondering around, noticing that we were wondering around the gay district and that for obvious reasons our chances of meeting girls is very slim here we wonder in a different direction. We make our way in to a dimly lit mellow hookah bar and have a couple of drinks. We then venture over to a bar called St. Bock which has an enormous beer selection. We get a pitcher of a brew they make in house. It's a pilsner with a light color and a sweet finish. Afterwards we occupy some beer and head back to our hostel. We meet interesting people from Norway, Australia, the Czech Republic, and of course France. We all share stories of our travels and why were hear, cultural differences and what not. They are all fascinating people, after copious amounts of alcohol we head to bed to prepare for round dos.

Montreal? Don't mind if I do

Were back! In the next installment of the Loose Tingles saga we find two thirds of the group heading to our neighbor to the north, more specifically Montreal, but not before stopping in my homeland of Vermont, also we winging the ride back. For 4 nights we will be let loose in the only providence in Canada thats stubborn and wants to speak French, but first our adventure at the Redskins game. After a hair splitting dash to the DC Metro we enjoyed a 30 minute ride with the most interesting characters the city has to offer. Upon our arrival to FedEx, with no tickets, Nate tells me of his uncle's tailgate spot that is the Mecca of all tailgating spots, being one that has to see in order to believe I doubt. The only tailgating I have ever done is at ECU games which I think is more like a circus. After arriving at FedEx field I still have to agree that ECU still takes the cake when it comes to tailgating. After tracking down Nate's uncles spot like trained hurters stalking a cheetah, we hit it the mother load of all tail gating spots. There must have been 100 people at this spot. Once we arrive we notice the friendly man handing out beer in the back of his truck. Not any beer mind you but such favorites as Sam Adams Winter Lager, Peroni, Becks, Dos Equis, Dog Fish Head, and many more lovely selections. After we grab two beers, one for each hand of course, we make our way over to the monstrous grills surrounding a buffet, and of course not any buffet mind you. We gorge ourselves on crab soup, italian sausages, wrapped sandwiches, needless to say were in tailgate heaven. Several beers later and tons of trips through the snow over the guard rail to relieve ourselves we get a call from Nate's mom, who just happened to stumble upon box seat tickets for us (can this night get any better?). Being the saint Ms. Bounds is she agrees to meet us at the metro stop we got off at. So after filling our pockets with Coronas for the road we head back. Some drunk sprints and pissing behind peoples houses later we make our way back to the station. Once we got their I noticed a problem I had beer, but no way of opening it. So I asked one of the kind metro employees if he had a bottle opener, he told me he did (and what a kind gentlemen he opened it for me too) but told me I couldnt drink it in there, this doesn't stop me. We grab the tickets and head back to the field. We get in and take our private elevator up to our suite right on the ten yard line. We are greeted with more free food, which we indulge in, and a witness the Redskins at their finest. We leave early (like everybody else) and catch the metro back to prepare for our travels to Vermont the next day. Next day we wake up at 7am and hit the road. An hour and a half in Nate's Audi completely shuts off and leaves us on the side of the road some where in Pennsylvania. After dealing with AAA's bullshit an hour and a half later a town truck shows up. The guy takes us into York, PA. After waiting for next to an eternity for the shop to look at our car, we found out we need a new alternator and battery, not to mention it won't be ready for 5 hours. So here we are now sitting in a horse race betting facility waiting, the people here are pretty seedy (I guess you have to be if your betting on horses at 2pm in the afternoon on a monday). So it can only go up from here! Next stop: we don't know yet.